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  • An apology…

    Posted on April 26th, 2019 schell No comments

    Please accept my apologies on behalf of my latest web host. I’m not going to identify them because of the awesome power they wield and, frankly, I’ve got enough trouble already. Let’s call them B3 Hosting.

    My site was migrated away this week from a very bad choice of host I made last week; which, in turn, was to escape a slow death at yet another host where I’ve been stuck since they sold out to EIG. April’s been a rough month for maintaining an online presence.

    As you’ve surely noticed, some parts of my site migrated while others did not. B3 Hosting Support is aware of the issue and have prioritized resolving it. If that priority is numeric, it is a negative number.

    As you’ve surely noticed, some parts of my site migrated while others did not. B3 Hosting Support is aware of the issue and have prioritized resolving it. If that priority is numeric, it is a negative number.

    B3 Hosting themselves are unapologetic about hobbling my site. Actually they’re not communicating at all. The status of my support ticket is “OPEN” and green, whatever that means. Drawing on my broad experience with global, crack teams of 24/7 web hosting gurus, I’ll tell you what it usually means: It means my ticket will lie quiescent — undisturbed by disruptions like troubleshooting — for 48 to 72 hours, then a system-generated email will break the silence with something like:

    We haven't heard from you in 72 hours, so we are closing this ticket. If you have any questions or concerns you can reopen this ticket.

    With that, my ticket’s status will be “CLOSED”, indicated by a soothing shade of gray. At which time I will no doubt have both questions and concerns.   §§§

     

  • Sign of the times

    Posted on September 24th, 2009 schell No comments

    CSI Permit Required

    Apparently, the Wells Fargo branch around the corner from my home gets robbed so often that police investigators have their own permanently reserved parking space out front.

    Clearly the robbers are thinking green while the bank is not.

    Clearly the robbers are thinking green while the bank is not. When there’s a Clarion right next door, why expend fossil fuels and increase response times by making the cops drive? Why not rent them a room instead? Then they could walk or bike to work.

  • Outsourcing an Arizona icon

    Posted on April 22nd, 2009 schell No comments

    There are any number of reasons for migrating to (that part of Mexico’s vast and mysterious Sonoran desert which we now call) Arizona.

    But if there was ever a single, compelling argument for staying, it used to be Crazy Ed’s Cave Creek Chili Beer — handcrafted at the wild edge of metro Phoenix by Crazy Ed Chileen since 1989.

    With the first taste, you’re immediately quenched and refreshed by the beer, then lit up by the chili infusion which leads to a glowing sensation accompanied by an intense desire to have another swig.

    If you’ve never tasted a chili beer, imagine a cold, crisp lager of Corona’s caliber, in which a fresh hot serrano pepper has been marinating since it was bottled. With the first taste, you’re immediately quenched and refreshed by the beer, then lit up by the chili infusion, leading to a glowing sensation accompanied by an intense desire to have another swig. Maybe it’s the desert heat or maybe it’s the chili but, in some of our tests, we have found that this cycle of consumption can continue for quite some time without a measurable reduction in the level of enjoyment.

    hot serranoAdding to the allure is its scarcity: Cave Creek Chili Beer has always been underdistributed. The connoisseur learns to snatch it up whenever it makes one of its rare appearances, as few retailers routinely stock it.

    Sadly, Crazy Ed’s Cave Creek Chili Beer has been outsourced. It’s now called simply Chili Beer and brewed in Tecate, Mexico. This might have been good news given the town’s reputation for producing Tecate beer, hugely popular in the southwest.

    Way back when, we used to buy Tecate at Gemco in North Hollywood and often remarked at the condition of the containers — speculating that each can must be individually imported by rolling it across the border. I mention this only because it appears that a similarly heavy hand is applied in Tecate to the making of Chili Beer: The lager seems less crisp, the chili doesn’t seem so bright on the tongue, and the glow fades quickly to Maybe-I’ll-have-another-in-awhile, instead of a craving for the next cold one.

    The upside may be a Chili Beer that finally gets the distribution it deserves. Unfortunately, it’s not Crazy Ed’s Chili Beer anymore.   §§§